Skyrim – The Crusher Chronicles Pt.2: A Comedy of Cockups

I continued my quest for adventure by riding to the far north west.


The first town I stumbled on was Solitude, in which some random peasant was complaining about oddities in a cave. Prevailing opinion was that he was probably mental but I thought id have a look.

Most impolitely the proprieters of Wolfskull Cave had left some Skeletons loitering outside. That’s practically fly-tipping, theres a reason you don’t just dump gran in the woods. Yeah she’s not causing any trouble now but a few weeks from now and some time with the crows and the daft old biddy could constitute a major public health hazard.

Oh Noes!! Its Mr Skeltal.
Oh Noes!! Its Mr Skeltal.
Doot Doot motherfucker. Fat lot of good all that calcium did for you....I'm keeping this.
Doot Doot motherfucker. Fat lot of good all that calcium did for you….I’m keeping this.


There’s still no sign of Lydia. I really should look for her. She had all my dragon bone. Probably sold it all for skooma money and passed out on a heap of kitty-people. So I guess I’ll be going in on my own.


You call that a welcoming party, hah. Smashy smashy. Maybe the next thing they throw at me will be a tad more impressive.


Or not as the case may be. For a traditionally high intelligence class this guy doesn’t strike me as the top of the class. No worries though, repeated axe blows to the face will solve most problems in a “whole new heap of problems” kind of way.

Then all of a sudden the cavalry comes running. With backup. Like the entire population of the cave. Now I remember why I used to kill the enemies one at a time from a great distance.


His buddies drop easily enough but this guy just refuses to drop dead. You’d think repeated axe blows would do a bit more damage. Nevermind, im running out of potions and this guy just wont drop. That means one thing: RETREAT.

That was highly embarrassing, but even Orcs don’t have a death wish. Well not for the most part anyway. It would appear though that I’m not quite ready to take on the world single handed. Perhaps the best plan is to ride back to Whiterun, clear a little of the main story and upgrade Unrelenting Force a little. Maybe buy a house to store my stuff and track Lydia down.


What’s this then? Poor murdered travellers? That’s more my level. I shall investigate and avenge their deaths.



Lord it get’s even worse…wait…what’s this?


NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE. Abandon righteous crusade. Run away.

So…yeah. Back to the road. My it’s a long way to whiterun. No wonder I usually use fast travel. But that’s the point, I don’t want to miss all the fun on the road. Like this, look, its some guys…standing by some barely dressed corpses.



That’s…something. Lets say hi.

On second thought I don’t think soldiers usually stand by the road demanding money from passers by.



Yes, I think you might be right on that.


Now, lets get back to business. Now…where the hell is my horse. Oh…


Oh, for god’s sake where did you come from.



Yep…He definitely killed my horse. Look’s like it’s RAGE TIME.

Just because you’re a huge hairy creature doesnt mean reapeatedly being smashed in the face with a two handed battleaxe won’t kill you. In fact it will, quite nicely.

Still, feeling a tad angry still, especially given now I have to walk all the sodding way to Whiterun. I do still feel a little rampagey. Gonna need to kill some more thing’s. Not hugely specific on what.


Yes, that. That’ll do nicely. Whatever happens to be in there.


Killed these guys.



And this one. So much for magical wards.


“Oh I do declare”


This one just got the vapors and fainted.


Killed this guy so hard he exploded.


This one didn’t explode. Just fell over dead.


I DO like these guys taste in interior decoration. I’ll give them that one.


Doesn’t mean that any of them will be saved from my post horse rage party.

Ahhhh….That’s much better. Now what was I doing…Oh yeah, walking to Whiterun. Back to the road it is.

Lordy there’s a lot of road. Should stop somewhere. That’ll be nice.


This place doesn’t look too bad. They’ve probably got some problems with damp but I imagine that won’t be a problem if I only stay ONE night.

Random Photography 1

(This is an old post I wrote a long time ago and is here so I can get used to the formatting and get the site looking how I like…Sad Donkey no longer lives at the end of the road…)

Closeup Flowers

Flower Close Up: Testing my cameras close focus during a bored lunch break

Stuff on a tree

Woody Growth Stuff Close Up: Another bored lunch photo. Something on the side of a tree…

Sad Donkey

Sad Donkey: This guy and a couple of horses inhabit some empty land at the end of my road. Ive no idea who owns them, but they’re friendly enough if they think there’s the prospect of you feeding them.